My story: my second life

A Zen koan says that we all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one. 

My life has definitely proved that to be true.

Everything starts with a dream. We’ll talk about that a lot with this book, as you can imagine. The dreams we’re talking about are more than daydreams, although those are important. These dreams are the fruitful fantasizing you do about your future. Those ideas and goals that are satisfying to only you, and that you feel are doable.

In fact, we all function that way. That’s how humans evolved. We are narrative beings, meaning we live in stories, and create stories. If we can’t understand an end goal, or the point of a story, we tune out. And that happens in our own lives too. We always need an orientation. And if we’re really honest, it needs to feel 5% harder than our current state of normal, something to challenge us to grow.

You probably have a dream about your life and your future. However hazy, you’re getting up and doing things each day on a journey toward that goal. Some of us don’t have a goal, and we’re aimless. Floundering. That may not always be a bad thing. It’s definitely a time to think hard and try new things. 

But some of us have a dream taken away, or forced to choose between two dreams. 

My journey in my early twenties had a very distinct breaking point. One life ended, and another began. It was even a specific date, back in 2012, when I chose my girlfriend over my past, and left everything behind to go marry her and start a new life.